Thursday, October 11, 2007

below are some entries which i gave a long/serious thought before i decide to post.

4 Sept 2007 9:58pm
i feeling all bad now. i'm having a terrible headache since morning. but no one cares. the little concern that i long for. it will never happen. i can predict the reaction i will get. a can't-be-bothered face. why will i want to say if i know what will happen?

how long will it takes for you to realise i'm not there anymore? 1hr? 2hr? or until when you are leaving? i wouldn't dare to think of the answer. i know the answer will disappoint me.

i seriously don't know what i did that makes you treat me this way. i send you an email long ago. did you ever reply me? no. i'm already took the iniaitive to send you an email. but have you ever bothered? i guess not. its only when you feel like it, then i will get a small response from you. when i expect an answer from you, i got nothing in the end.

the past 3 months here, the only time you talk to me is when we first got here and when you need my help at marini's. the rest of the time, you treat me as invisible. i don't think i'm at any fault and why i'm treated this way? if you are any tom, dick or harry, i wouldn't felt so bad. its just because you are my friend. my best friend. if you don't want me to be around, i could just leave. tell me in my face. you don't need me anymore. and i'll leave. i don't want to be treated this way. i'm telling you, its not living habits. its the attitude. its all the little little actions that shows how you are treating me. and i feel i don't deserve this.

a little phrase "Are you ok?" lets me know you care. there many many times i don't feel ok. i felt really really down. i really really hope i could share it with you. just like what i always did when we are in singapore. all i need is a listening ear. and a little reactions to show you are listening. but you're never there for be. you're no longer there for me. i had to go through a lot of difficult moments by myself. you are just so near yet so far.

5 Sept 2007 7:43am
finally. you are letting all out. after 8years of friendship and 3months in US, i'm just a bitch. thanks. for letting me know, behind my back. i'm really sorry to have you suffered. but i believe there is no next time. you didn't hear my snoring because i wasn't asleep. now i know how it feels to get backstab. i guess i learn it the hard way. really hard.

these are all my inner thoughts, which i feel i should let it known. i'm thankful that i'm a person who is willing to face it up. however, there's no way one hand can make a clap. i'm not here to pick up blog fight or whatsoever. just. let this entry marks the end. and i'll be happily moving on to my next stage of life. =)

i do still feel hurt when i look back. but that's part and parcel of life. isn't it? =)

beautiful mistake @ 3:30 PM

lyrics of the current song

Title: Beauty and The Beast

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Than somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will arise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast.

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast.

about

Rui Rong
13 July 1987
Diploma in Business Computing

loathe

* Vegetables
(Veggy are poison!)
* Chinese Mushroom
* periods
* cleaning up dust
(my nose can't take it!)
* operating:
-- jetcopters
-- merry-go-round
-- rock-n-roll
* being accused of things i never did
* people who take ME for granted

adore

* Pepsi/ Coke
(they taste the same to me!)
* Green Tea
* M&M's Dark Chocolate with Peanuts
* kbox session
* dim sum session
* drinking session
* medicure

desire

* trips to Hong Kong
* trips to Taiwan
* frequent trips to Genting
* change my whole wardrobe
(ok. not whole, MOST of it. hahs!)
* New wallet
* New bags
* New laptop
* New mp3
(my current one is dying on me..)

series i'm watcing currently

* 同事三分亲 eps 166
* 公主小妹 eps 7
* 樱野三加一 eps 14
* 美味关系 eps 7
* 爱情两好三坏 eps 3
* 恶女阿楚 eps 10

tagboard

credits

This layout was done by nette, with the help of Brushes from 100X100 and the Codes from kriss.Finally, the lovely image was taken from: deviantart. Pls do not take out the credits.